My Fellow Americans,
I have once again been nominated as America’s Best DJ. In the spirit of true patriotism, I will be campaigning vigorously throughout the upcoming months.
Once upon a time, we started a grass roots movement that exceeded everyone’s expectations. Field organizers went door to door getting out the DJ Shiftee vote. Internet officers passionately spammed the bejesus out of previously disengaged citizens. Our call centers became the envy of the entire DJ political campaign world.
Last year was about making waves in this insider, wink wink, nudge nudge, lobbyist filled, oil money driven system. This year is about taking over. My fellow Americans, the time is now! The moment is here! Vote “DJ Shiftee” for America’s Best DJ 2011!